


The Tally

by trascendenza



Category: Neverwhere - Gaiman
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-17
Updated: 2007-03-17
Packaged: 2017-10-03 17:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trascendenza/pseuds/trascendenza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard finds himself in yet another confusing and wholly unplanned situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tally

**Author's Note:**

> For theswearingkind. And I was halfway through re-reading _Good Omens_ when I wrote this, hence the use of the footnote.

The Marquis was a feline man, but not what one would classify as a mere housecat, nay, not even a housecat which has had the satisfaction of catching and eating the canary; the satisfaction the Marquis exuded from every one of his carefully planned pores was of a far different caliber than any mere domestic animal. As he ran his tongue over his grinning lips, very pink in the dark of the eternal half-night of London Below, he reminded Richard in a very distinct and knee-knocking way of a panther, just finished devouring its prey. The knee-knocking quickly progressed into knee-giving, and he started to sink down to the ground, even as de Carabas was straightening up to his full height.

They were in a tunnel that stood out not in the least in comparison to the many others they'd been through; Richard wondered if, in time, he might become a connoisseur of the dark, malodorous and uncomfortably damp underground in time, but at present, Richard could have no more pinpointed their position than he could have explained why he'd let the Marquis relieve him of his morning erection.

Then again, there was very little that had made sense since he had given up everything he thought of as a life and returned to what, in his most charitable moments, he labeled 'A Study in Willful and Unpleasant Insanity, as Told Through a Series of Highly Unfortunate Events.'*

The Marquis drew a handkerchief out from one of his many pockets (the jacket had been replaced in Richard's absence, and he didn't stop to think why it relieved him so to see it again), letting it flutter down between them.

"Thank you," said Richard, cleaning himself up. He was blushing from head to toe. De Carabas leaned down until they were face to face, and ran one of his thin, dark fingers over the apples of Richard's cheeks.

And he kissed Richard softly, and he smiled like a panther.

"I, er. Suppose I owe you a favor now, don't I?" said Richard, not entirely certain he wanted to live to see the Marquis collect on it.

"My dear boy," said de Carabas, and, in defiance of the natural laws that restricted physical matter, he grinned brilliantly wider. "You most certainly do."

> * It may be interesting to note that Jessica, rifling through the contents of Richard's desk after his disappearance in an effort to find out where he went (and rather angry with the employees who insisted that there was no such man working at this company), found this exact phrase written on a stack of papers inside his top drawer. The title page had been crafted with the surprising attention to detail that those who are avoiding work are prone to exercise and made her suspicious. She was disappointed to find, however, that most of the pages were blank, except for the first, which read: "Why are these bloody things so much easier to compose in my head?"


End file.
